The Path of True Love...Is Paved with Good Intentions

My husband does not so much ignore hints as cultivate a willful obtuseness. It’s absolutely no use to hint away and hope he will pick up on something you would like him do, you have to resort to direct measures. Generally I don’t have a problem with this. In my opinion, you simply can’t hold people (men in particular) responsible for things that you only wished they would do, and assumed they would know. However, my husband has a talent for defeating even my cheerful directness. When I say “I would really like you to do something sweet for our anniversary Honey.” He says “The anniversary of buying the house? Do people celebrate that?” If he’s feeling especially creative he counters with “Letty, the verb ‘sweet’ cannot apply to an action, it’s virtually impossible to do something sweet.” To which sophistry I reply precisely “Please buy me flowers or candy with a card. Preferably a card with some type of poetry on it, and not one where you’ve crossed out ‘birthday’ and written in ‘anniversary’ with a Sharpie.”

Given this background, it should not surprise that the week prior to our anniversary found him asking wistfully Wednesday afternoon as I headed out the door to the grocery store “Does it ‘count’ if I give you some cash and you get flowers for yourself while you’re there?” Refusing to be beguiled by his puppy dog eyes, I responded emphatically “No, it does not!” and headed out the door. Embroiled in the frenetic pace of our lives these days, we went to bed Friday night without a whisper of plans to celebrate ever being referenced again. It was then that I heard a soft whisper from my sweet man. “I was going to spend the whole afternoon tomorrow taking you around Chicago and seeing all of these incredibly fun things as a way to make our anniversary special, but I just go so busy I had no time to plan anything, and now…I have nothing.” He sounded so woeful I just had to smile. Snuggling in close I told him softly “That’s okay, I was going to write you a sweet note every day this week telling you why I loved being married to you...but I didn’t.” Laughter soon consumed us and we giggled away thinking of the extravagantly good intentions of the other. And that’s when I decided that sometimes it really is the thought that counts, with or without action attached.

So, if you have good intentions some day to do something wonderful for your spouse that just doesn’t happen, share those good intentions. What you meant to do might be just as good as what you actually do. And then together you can both figure out how to make something happen. For us, we celebrated the Sunday of our anniversary with a no-holds-barred game of Blokus. On Monday he took me to a fabulous fancy restaurant I have always gazed longingly out the window at whenever we drove by (recall, I said the man was ‘willfully obtuse’ not ‘stupid’). And he might not have gotten a weeks worth of notes, but he did get a carton of his favorite rocky road ice-cream with a great big bow!

Now that I have an official 'blog' I seem to be suffering from a severe case of writer's block. I find myself generating and discarding ideas at alarming speed after intense analysis reveals them to be 'not funny enough' or 'not interesting enough' or 'not insightful enough.' And, as if suffering from content inadequacy wasn't enough, I have also fallen victim to the dreaded 'word count' monster of my college term paper night terrors. Someone once told me that a good blog entry was 350 to 500 words, and I find myself debating whether or not I actually have 350 words to say about a particular topic or idea. What if I only have 335 words in me on the subject of cleaning the gunk from under the bathroom sink faucet? Or, and knowing me far more likely, perhaps I have 1500 words about the strangeness of Chicagoans dyeing their river green. What then? No one wants to read a 1500 word blog, with or without a green river.


But let's suppose I actually manage to write a blog entry...I still must contend with the disheartening Catch-22 of success! Having written one humorous, interesting, insightful and precisely word-counted blog, I must somehow write ANOTHER one, to fulfill the parameters of excellence I have now set for myself. But everyone knows the surest way of achieving success is to make sure you set the bar low enough. Why else do I consistently set the weight for the tricep press at the gym a comfortable 5-10 pds below what i can actually lift? To ensure success in reaching the prescribed number of repetitions of course. I'm not stupid. I am therefore leery of raising the expectations of my soon-to-be massive readership, so that they click on my blog actually anticipating a worthwhile return on their time. And there we come to the final element of my writer's block. Massive Hubris.


In deciding to make my blog public, the key determinant appears to have been hubris. I seem to be convinced that people would love to read about ME! And no, there is NO basis for it reality, you know, the world the rest of humankind exists in. The world that rotates quite calmly in orbit around a star that is not myself. And then there's Letty, out in a galaxy far, far, away, writing in her 'chronicles' at 1 in the morning. Nevermind that I've now managed to write 395 words about not being able to write. Nevermind that attempting to rise in the morning will be like trying taking out the Death Star with a pop gun. Or that my interactions with family and friends during the day tomorrow will remind them forcibly of Chewbacca as all my wookie-ness comes out in full force. (Who hasn't dreamt of going through the day without being required to answer questions with anything more than a constipated-sounding gargle?) No, nevermind any of that. Because- I. Have. Blogged.

And the Winner Is...

Thanks to everyone who voted on a blog name for me! The top two choices, were, by far

• Me, Myself and Richard
• Chronicles of Letty

They were pretty much in a dead heat, and then some guy in Japan took Me, Myself and Richard! So, that answered that question. I'm going to try and get started on this soon for real, but just to follow-up the facebook event with an invitation to the blog, I guess this is my first official posting!