Rule Britannia!

What is draped in fog, enchantingly mystical, and renowned for its stubborn, indomitable spirit?

Yes! England!

Most of you know Richard is in the weekend MBA program at the University of Chicago. He is actually getting an International MBA, which involves a mandatory quarter spent abroad as an exchange student at a partner University’s MBA program. (As well as fluency in another language-yay missions!) We decided the best time for us to study abroad was this fall, and after careful research it became obvious that the best partner school available for Richard’s areas of interest and maintaining the same academic rigor as Chicago Booth was the London Business School.

Because LBS is far and away the best choice for a rigorous finance-based foreign exchange program, that seems to be the placement that every student applying to study abroad wants, making the application process extremely competitive and nerve-wracking. However, Richard was just awarded one of the ten slots available to the Booth part-time and full-time students, as an exchange student this fall at LBS!! WAHOO!!!

Once past the biggest hurdle, he needed to get the okay from his manager to take an educational leave of absence from work, and a couple weeks ago we finally got the go-ahead! England here we come!! I am so excited I can’t hardly stand it! It barely feels real. I immediately started planning fabulous road-trips/train trips/boat trips throughout Europe for this fall. (I know from experience how much time Richard is NOT going to have to spend with me-lol) So, anyone who’s ever wanted to see Europe on the cheap-now is the time! Hopefully we will get an apartment with enough floor space for anyone who wants to crash for a week or two in London. Hey, we might even have a couch…

Howard Putnam: Former CEO of Southwest Airlines

“If you are looking for a helping hand, start at the end of your own arm.”

Again, not someone who is the most gifted of speakers, but he had the disadvantage of speaking at the end of very long day, to a 2/3rds empty audience. I wasn’t quite sure what he was supposed to be speaking on, but, like the opening quote, I found he had a few things to say worth writing down. He talked about the importance of having a balanced propeller, keeping family, work, community and personal life in their proper balance can make the difference between soaring high and crashing and burning. He remarked that the motto for a good airline is the same for life, “Turbulence is inevitable, misery is optional.”

He also talked about the importance of treating everyone with respect, and told a story about his young son being seated and fussed over by a waitress, and then given his very own menu. The little boy turned and remarked to his mother in excitement, “Hey Mom! She thinks I’m a people!” Although he didn’t do very much to draw out the point after this, I loved this story because I thought it really illustrated an incredibly insightful point about succeeding in customer service, or just succeeding at being a good person. So often we overlook individuals because we decide, based on their clothes or their car or their accent, that they are not 'a people,' that they are not meaningful, and have nothing to offer or to teach us. It’s not just children who are hungry to be seen.

And that wrapped up the day at the motivational seminar. It was fascinating, insightful, and a great place to people watch. However, I don’t know that I would every actually PAY to attend one. (They try and sell an awful lot of stuff!) As fun as it will be to tell my grandchildren I sat in the same room with Colin Powell, the day provided more bragging rights than actual information. Spending 6-8 hours watching one TED talk after another would probably have provided as much, or more, enlightenment. However…I was in the same room with Colin Powell!!

Laura Bush: Former First Lady

“Literacy is an essential foundation for democracy.”

Laura Bush mostly shared anecdotes of her life in the white house and updates about her family. It was extremely interesting, just not necessarily inspiring or quote-worthy. She did say it was nice to be back home in Texas and out of ‘public housing.’ Hahaha…now that was funny. Calling the White House public housing, while quite true, is simply hilarious. She also referenced the media with some pointed tongue-in-cheek commentary, talking about how she could learn the most amazing things about her family simply by going to the grocery store. Her daughter had been married four times by the end of the presidential race, all to boys she had never met. And her father-in-law had been confirmed by top-secret reports to be an alien. I found her to be charming and sincere, and surprisingly motherly/grandmotherly. She seemed like the kind of person I would like to have over for cookies on my back patio.

General Colin Powell: United States Secretary of State 2001-2005

“America has greatness in every generation of her people.”

I think that Colin Powell was probably the man half the crowd came to see (about 60% left after he spoke late in the afternoon), and I have to admit that I was one of them! I am a huge fan! Someone from the audience shouted 2012! (referring to the presidential election and his widespread popularity as a potential candidate for the last presidential race) He simply shook his head and said he was enjoying retirement far too much for “any of that.” I found him charismatic, humourous, funny and self-deprecating, and refreshingly humble. One of the first things he said was how people are always commenting on the ‘greatness’ of the previous generations of Americans. However, he believes that America’s best and brightest strength, is that she didn’t have just one ‘great’ generation, that there is greatness in each and every generation that has called this nation home.

• “The process of transformation begins at home.”
  


• “No terrorist can change the freedom-loving nature of a democratic nation, only we can change that."
  


• The essential element of leadership is the ability to fire non-performers and bad followers. To look them in the eye and let them go.
  


• “It doesn’t matter where you start in life. It matters where you end up, and what you did along the way."

The secret to powerful leadership is validation…a connection with the individuals that make up every organization. It is the human connection that can make all the difference. People doing a good job deserved to be recognized. And the ‘good’ followers know who the ‘bad’ followers are. And they will watch you, how you deal with these undesirables, and base their respect of your leadership on those actions.

He shared some experiences of being in the top levels of the military as the iron curtain and bamboo curtain fell. Of a sit-down lunch he had with Mikail Gorbachev while under President Reagan. Apparently he was uncomfortable, and mistrustful throughout the meal. Finally Gorbachev shook his head, and chuckled a little, and said “General, General. I am so very sorry-but you’ll have to find a new enemy." General Powell also stated his opinion that China poses not threat to us militarily, they are doing far too well economically as our trading partner to want to rock the boat.

On this same theme he remarked, “It doesn’t frighten me that other countries are beginning to do ‘almost as well as we are,’ I love it when I see people coming up out of poverty!” To the cynics and worrywarts out there he called a time-out. “America will always be a magnet.” As for why that is, he referenced a recent interview with a multi-millionaire Japanese business man, who named New York as his favorite city in the world. On being questioned about why, this businessman simply laughed and said, “It is the only city in the world outside of Japan where people come up to me on the street and ask for directions.”

Kurt Warner: NFL Super Bowl Champion

“Champions are often recognized in a moment, but they separate themselves over a lifetime.”

I found Kurt Warner to be an attractive, charismatic individual, but not necessarily a gifted public speaker. That said, he was definitely not the worst presenter present-that award would have to go to Dr. Robert Schuller…a professional motivational speaker. Yeah, blew my mind. Anyway, back to Mr. Warner. He talked a lot about his family, which I found interesting (he has seven kids!) and the value of wanting something so bad you will sacrifice and suffer anything to get it. He referenced his daughter climbing up four shelves in the pantry…he heard a loud bang and there she was, flat on her back on the floor, but bygolly she was clutching the bag of Oreos to her chest!

The most interesting thing I think he said was that often people will list a litany of bad things that happen to them in life: “My parents divorced, I had bad teachers, I sprained my ankle, I got laid off, I grew up poor, etc etc. The difference between winnders and losers, between successful and unsuccessful people is not the events that may or may not have occurred in their life. The difference is found entirely in the words with which they finish their litany of woes. “…and that is why I failed.” OR “…and that is why I succeed.” It is not a difference in luck, ability, talent, family, education that makes the difference between success and failure, but a simple difference in attitude, in how they approach situations that are challenging, that are less than ideal. What are you willing to sacrifice, what are you willing to suffer, these are the determining factors in success.

He went on to say that it is vital to teach your children the importance of suffering in order to be great” and quoted Lance Armstrong when faced simultaneously with severe Bronchitis, pouring rain, dropping temperatures and an uphill route. “Good…suffering weather.” Whatever it is you choose to do, find something you can do with ALL of your heart. Belief in yourself is far, far more important than talent. If you are in a room with 100 guys and someone tells you only 1 of you will make it, look around and feel sorry for the other 99, because you know in your gut that YOU are going to succeed.

Khrish Danam Con't

Challenge yourself to learn something new everyday. Learning actually increases the blood flow to your brain, which lowers your chances of senility in old age. Then DO something with your knowledge. The world is full of broke, smart people. When you are problem solving, one of the most common mistakes people make is that when they come up with the first solution, they stop thinking! Keep brainstorming and going at it, often your 2^nd and 3^rd solutions will be better than your first!

To illustrate this last point, he told the story of driving down the freeway with his 2 or 3 yr old daughter. Who had, apparently, just learned how to let herself out of her carseat. After repeated requests for her to get back in her car-seat, to which she responded with increasingly vociferous and stubborn refusals. Finally he pulled over to the side of the freeway, just furious. Slamming out of the car as he stomped his way around to her door, thinking ‘Oh yes you WILL get back in your car-seat because I am BIGGER than you…” When he stopped himself, and thought, well, this is a solution, but is it the best solution.

Well, he was still too mad to go much beyond that initial thought, and as he reached to yank the door open, he felt again the strong impression “think again.” So he threw his hands up in the air, looked heavenward and cried in frustration “She’s YOUR daughter…what do you want me to do with her!” And the strong feeling came “give her a hug.” Well, as he said “The last thing I wanted to do was give that child a hug!” But the feeling came again, “Give her a hug.” So he opened the back door and there she stood on the seat, arms cross, chin stuck out, spoiling for a fight. And he just held his arms open. She ran into his arms and threw her little arms around his neck and just hung on, sobbing and sobbing. And after about 10 minutes she climbed back into her car-seat, good as gold, and they continued on home without further incident.

I LOVED this story. I heard so much more in it than just ‘look for more than one solution.’ For me it was a poignant and touching example of how much God is aware of his children, from stubborn 2 year olds to exasperate fathers, and understands exactly what is going on in their hearts and what they need most at any given moment. In the LDS church we generally refer to the strong impression to do something that comes from outside yourself as a prompting from the Holy Spirit, and believe He is a messenger from God, one way in which God communicates with us on a daily basis. I’m not sure what this speaker’s religious affiliation is, but he clearly believes in God, and, according to my perspective, explained clearly an example of how much God loves us, happening right there on a California freeway. Did I mention that this secular conference reminded me strongly of the bi-annual conferences of my church! Lol.

Khrish Danam: Sales and Customer Service

“Failure is succeeding at the wrong things.”

Ok, so I had no idea who this guy was, but he turned out to be among the top three speakers at the conference, in my opinion. Turns out he was a protégé of Zig Ziglar’s and is some big-time record-breaking sales guy. Whatever. What he did have was a fascinating story and some pieces of truly insightful wisdom to share. Originally from India, he landed here with a new bride and $9 in his pocket. After one day in America he told his wife “I’m gonna make it here!” She said “How can you be sure?” To which he replied “These people think they have problems!” On the same topic he said that perhaps one of the reasons he was able to speak effectively of America’s greatness is that, having been on both sides, he “…knows where the grass is greener. Because there ain’t no grass on the other side!”

Perhaps my only quibble with his presentation is that he used a lot of quotes, some of them were his own, but a lot of them I recognized from other speakers, famous people, and historical figures. And he didn’t ever cite anyone! So, I’ve put any direct quote in quote marks, but be advised that a lot of them are probably not Khrish Danam originals, so don’t go around repeating them that way.

• “Do not let your children walk around with a hole in their heart where your love should have been.”


• “Your career is what you’re paid for, your purpose is what you’re made for”


• “If you’re happy, tell your face.”


• The only time in your life people will always say nice things about you is at your funeral, and by the time you get to that point there are only to comments left for you to make on your own life, “I’m glad I did” or “I wish I had.”


• “If someone else has to tell you who you are, you ain’t.”


• “How often should I tell my wife I love her?” “Before someone else does.”


• “Do not stand on the chasms of despondency and stare at opportunities as they pass you by.”


• “There are three kinds of people in this world, those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who are still asking “What Happened?”


• “Do not raise your children in isolation.”


• “There is a God. It ain’t me. It ain’t you either.”


• “The heart was designed for adoration.”


• “In trying to make a living, don’t forget to make a life.”


• “If two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary.”

One of the things he said resonated with a feeling that I have had for a long time. “In the quest for perfect equality, all we have done is elevated mediocrity.” I personally believe that each further generation America produces loses further the drive to excel, to succeed, to strive for excellence. And I believe one the reasons this happens is because those who do succeed are punished, fined and taxed, and those who choose to do nothing, do not suffer.

He also talked a lot about attitude, and the power a cheerful, happy outlook has to make your life a much better place, as well as the people that you touch in your daily routine. “If you go out into this world looking like you have been weaned on a pickle, or like your driver’s license photo, no one is going to treat you like a glamour shot.” Instead, when someone asks you how you are doing, answer “I’m incredible…and I’m getting even better!” They might ask if you are telling the truth, to which you can reply “Of course it’s the truth, just a little bit in advance.” When you are in a conversation with someone, challenge yourself to get past frivolous, meaningless banalities, into the true meat of how they truly are, who they truly are, and what they truly think.

Lou Holt Con't

Lou Holtz's Three Simple Rules for Life:

1. Do right
2. Do everything to the best of your ability-even if no one is watching
3. Always show people you care

He talked a lot about the important of developing meaningful relationships with people, as a necessary skill to be successful in your marriage, in your community and in your profession. Well, a lot of people say you need to do that, what I have never heard before is the series of very simple questions he said to ask yourself to see if you actually have meaningful relationships, or if you need to makes some dramatic changes in your life and business to start creating them.

1. If I didn’t go home today, who would miss me, and why? (again the priority was home and family FIRST-I love this guy!)
2. If I didn’t go to work today, who would miss me, and why?
3. If my business went under today, who would miss it/us, and why?

Perhaps one of the most insightful ‘ah-hah’ moments of his entire presentation for me came when he stated that the Number One Mistake people make in life is that we fail to show people we genuinely care. He went on to explain that every single person in the whole world has the same three questions, whether or not they consciously acknowledge them, or realize that they have them. Chances are, if you like and trust someone, they have answered these three questions to your satisfaction.

1. Can I Trust You? (Will you do the right thing)
2. Are You Committed to Excellence (according to the standards you espouse)
3. Do You Genuinely Care About Me?

I found these questions to be extremely profound, and as I thought about how they applied to all of the people in my life, I realized that everyone I loved and trusted, both professionally and personally, I could answer YES to all of these questions. And everyone and every business I disliked and distrusted, had proved the answer to one of these questions was a NO at some point. It was so fascinating to think about, because it was so very simple. It is actually not very hard to live by these rules. If, in all your relationships both personal and professional, you focus on proving the answer to each of these questions is a resounding yes, you will have success in everything that you do. You will, by word and action, show people that you care.

As you can tell, Lou Holtz made a lot of lists, and presented his beliefs and thoughts in simple and concise phrases, with a lot of funny stories and sound bytes in between. He was such a dynamic inspiring man, and, for those who have not heard him speak before, he has a fairly noticeable speech impediment/slur. I found it completely inspiring that the best speaker at this motivational conference of ‘all-star’ public speakers, was a man who had difficulty actually speaking.

I’ll end this post with his Lou Holtz’ thoughts on happiness:

If you want to be happy for an hour, eat a steak.

If you want to be happy for a day, go play golf.

If you want to be happy for a week, go on a cruise.

If you want to be happy for a month, buy a new car.

If you want to be happy for a year, win the lottery.

If you want to be happy for a lifetime, make a difference in the life of others

*If you want to be happy for an eternity, marry the right person, in the right place. (my own addition).

Lou Holtz: College Football Hall of Fame

“There is a difference of opinion as to whether Man’s best friend is his wife or his dog. Why don’t you lock both of them in your truck for a few hours and come back and see which one still loves you.”

Lou Holtz was by far my favorite speaker. I feel like he had the most wisdom, advice and information to impart, and did so in the most skilled and relatable manner. I also felt like he had great power and credibility, and that as a man who had successfully lived his beliefs, he was a source to be listened to. I guess he was the most ‘general authority-esque’ of them all.

• The most important person you need to believe in you is yourself. After that, it’s your spouse.
• Ask your spouse for advice and listen to it. No one knows you better, loves you more, wants more passionately for you to succeed, and will have the courage to be completely honest with you.
• Be EXCITED about your job. Whatever you are doing do it with passion. People love to be around those who are excited, positive, happy, and enjoying their life.
• If you CANNOT live with failure, you will make the sacrifices necessary to be successful.
• Don’t go through life as a spectator, be a participant.
• You never reach a plateau in life. You cannot settle for maintaining the status quo. You are either growing, or your dying.
• When faced with an important decision that must be made on how to prioritize your time and resources, always focus on W.I.N. What’s Important Now. Evaluate the past , focus on the future, and it will tell you what to do in the present.
• You’re obligation is not to be popular, it is to make others the very best they can be.

Four Essential Ingredients to Success

1. You must have a passion to win
2. You must control your attitude
3. Don’t overcomplicate: You need to satisfy the customer, and you need to make a profit. The end.
4. You must be a Dreamer. You must have a vision of what you want your life to be. Everyone must have something to do, someone to love, something to hope for, and Someone to believe in.

When he was explaining the process he went through to determine what he wanted in life, the vision he had for his life, he said he sat down and made 5 columns on a piece of paper, and then just listed underneath each what he wanted to achieve in that area of his life. The columns he used were: Husband/Father, Religiously, Financially, Professionally, Excitement/Action. (I found it especially insightful the order in which he listed these columns, how he chose to prioritize his life.) Also very cool-on the list of 170 things he wanted to do before he died, he has now completed 102.

Rudy Giuliani: Mayor of New York City (1994-2001)

“The greatness of this country is the individual opinions of its people. Imagination and creativity are America’s greatest resource.”

I did not know very much about Mr. Giuliani prior to hearing him speak, but afterwards I am a fan, finding his accomplishments quite remarkable, and his viewpoint refreshingly practical. He shared really interesting statistics about his time as Mayor of New York. When he took office as Mayor, there were 2,000 murders a year in New York? Which was a higher casualty rate than Vietnam! His campaign slogan was simply “We can’t do worse!” The primary way in which the murder rate was so dramatically reduced during his tenure was by creating a data-gathering resource, and using computers to collate the information to reveal meaningful trends that held police departments accountable for increased crime in their areas of responsibility, and provided incentives for decreased crime.

He also instituted a ‘Broken Windows’ campaign to fix all the broken windows in the city of New York, on the (turns out correct) theory that the appearance of abandonment and neglect promotes further crime. In addition to reducing the crime rate, when Giuliani took office his predecessor told him they expected 300,000 more on welfare in the next year, and he would need to hire more workers for the welfare department. Instead, Giuliani dramatically decreased the number of welfare recipients, in part by offering the unemployment department workers financial incentives and bonuses every time they actually placed someone in a job successfully.

He concluded with giving his four keys to success in business and in life.

1. READ. Read books, all that you can. Alternate books that challenge you with books that you enjoy, novels etc. When you are trying to get kids to read, or read more frequently, introduce them to books about the subjects they are passionate about first. After they learn to love reading, and become skilled readers, then is the time to introduce more challenging material.

2. ASK advice from successful people in your line of work. If you want to be a successful husband and father, ask a man who is. A successful leader, business owner, manager, the same principle applies. Practice intentional studying and copying of successful behaviors. Learn to use a Churchill-esque mix of defiance + optimism.

3. WRITE down what you want to achieve. Keep it in a journal that you review frequently. Know what your goals are and evaluate your progress to them. Don’t get side-tracked by behaviors or paths that will not lead to where you want to go.

4. THINK, slow life down and all time to reflect. Whether you use prayer, or meditation, or exercise…find a quiet thinking time in your life daily. Refuse to let life just happen to you, think about it as it occurs.

Motivational Seminar Report!

The motivational conference was very interesting, not just from the perspective of what was said and shared by the guest speakers, but from the reaction of the people around me, about what they were hearing and learning. It was fascinating to people-watch, and study the people who had paid significantly in order to be present that day, to ‘get motivated.’ I could not help but compare the entire day to the two days of General Conference that the LDS church broadcasts on a bi-annual basis. One of the tenets of the Mormon faith is our belief that God has called a prophet and 12 apostles again in this day and age, beginning with the restoration of his church through the first modern-day prophet, Joseph Smith, in 1820. Because I truly believe that God actually speaks to and inspires these men, I eagerly await the bi-annual conferences in which the 12 apostles present 15 minutes talks about any subject they feel inspired to share about. These talks are broadcast live in the bi-annual General Conference, and are inspiring and life-changing instructions on how to live a happy, beautiful, and Godly life.

A common theme of the speakers at this secular motivational conference was the importance of a religious faith or creed in their life, and I was struck by how the best speakers often touched on a truth or a theme that I had recently heard shared at General Conference of my Church. I was also fascinated by the comments of people around me “That is so smart!” “Wow, I never saw it like that” “What an incredible take on life.” Etc etc. And I could not help but think that should any of those present at this seminar take the time to view an hour or two of General Conference, they would be blown away by the wisdom of the advice dispensed there by Christ’s servants, for free, regardless of their personal religious beliefs, or relationship with Christ.

I think the best way to share highlights from the motivational conference will be as a series of posts, which I will share in the order the presenters spoke, not necessarily in the order of my preference. Some of them I’m just skipping completely because they were simply a waste of my time altogether, failing to say anything profound, or even interesting. If I am sharing a direct quote, I will attempt to put it into quotes. However, realize that these notes are a conglomeration of my personal thoughts and what was actually spoken, and at this point are impossible to separate, so you will probably get a mix of Letty-isms throughout. Some of the speakers might be amazed to discover what they ‘said’ to me that day.

Thank You Mr. F!

So I was sitting in the athletic office of a high school I substitute teach at this past week, when a quiet, unassuming man at the next desk mentioned he was attending a massive motivational speaking conference being held in St. Louis next week. Naturally my ears perked up, as I had been hearing about this for months, and, of course, was DYING to go! The speaker line-up included: Rudy Giuliani, Dr. Robert Schuller, Kurt Warner, Steve Forbes, Laura Bush, Krish Dhanam, Howard Putnam, Lou Holtz and General Colin Powell. Yeah. A-MAZING! And also $225 dollars a ticket. Needless to say when I heard a high school athletic teacher was attending the first thing out of my mouth was “Awesome!” Closely followed by, “Whoa Dang! Aren’t those tickets, like, $200!?”

He smiled self-deprecatingly and said, “Well, I know people.” We talked for a bit more, and it turns out he worked as one of Kurt Warner’s athletic trainers (as well as several other big name professional athletes.) Whoa! Towards the end of the conversation as I’m getting ready to go sub health class, he says,

“Well, do you want a ticket? I can get you one.” I was floored!

“Yes! Sure! Trade my first-born child? Where do I sign?!” (Actually I think my jaw dropped and I said…”really?”)

He said, “Yeah, one or two?”

“Umm…two? If that’s ok? If you don’t need them?”

And he REACHES INTO HIS DESK DRAWER and hands me TWO $225 TICKETS!! Aaaaaahhhhhh!!!! Unbelievable, unbelievable, unbelievable! Turns out Kurt Warner called him up and offered him ten comp tickets. Talk about right place, right time! Thank heaven it was ME sitting in that swivel chair eating my broccoli! Whoa Nelly! What a fabulous guy! What a fabulous day! What a fabulous world!